Soothe Your Damaged Masculinity With This Moisturizing Balm

Michael Calore: Well, I think of people like Joe Rogan, of course, and other shows of that ilk, which is like confident men interrupting each other into microphones with their opinions.

Lauren Goode: Ding, ding, ding, ding. Yeah, a lot of the most popular podcasts are pretty bro-y.

Michael Calore: Oh, they are?

Lauren Goode: I mean, not all of them, but a lot of the most popular podcasts are hosted by these charismatic, long-winded men who have, shall we say, unique interview styles and also discuss some questionable topics and interview guests for two hours plus. And I was wondering if maybe the Gadget Lab should give this a try.

Michael Calore: Are you saying that that you want me, the charismatic, long-winded male, to host this week? I thought this was your turn to host this week.

Lauren Goode: Well, maybe we could flip it on its head a little bit and I could host it, but we can channel some of the vibes of those really popular shows.

Michael Calore: I mean, on paper it sounds terrible, but secretly I’m here for it.

Lauren Goode: Yeah, this could fail spectacularly, but let’s give it a try. Yes.

Michael Calore: Please.

[Gadget Lab intro theme music plays]

Lauren Goode: Hey everyone, welcome to Gadget Lab. I’m Lauren Goode. I’m a senior writer at WIRED.

Michael Calore: And I am Michael Calore. I’m a senior editor at WIRED.

Lauren Goode: And we’re joined this week by the head of our fact-checking and research department here at WIRED. Zak Jason. Zak is joining us from a bathroom in New York City. Is that correct?

Zak Jason: That’s right, yeah.

Lauren Goode: OK, good. I’m glad we didn’t have to fact-check that one. Zak, it’s great to have you on the program.

Zak Jason: Great to be here. It’s a privilege. Thank you.

Lauren Goode: So Zak, you wrote a story this week for WIRED.com that I thought would be fitting for our new theme here on WIRED’s Gadget Lab, which we are calling the “bro show” today. I can’t believe that we actually decided to do this, but here we are. Zak, I’m going to make you read aloud your headline. What is the headline for this story?

Zak Jason: The headline for this story is “My Balls-Out Quest to Achieve the Perfect Scrotum.”

Lauren Goode: So you decided to go on a quest to test out these deodorizing sprays marketed at men and people with scrotums. And just so some of you are prepared for what we’re really getting into, I wanted to read aloud some of the comments from our Instagram page. After WIRED’s social media team promoted Zak’s story on the gram. Someone wrote in, “This has Pulitzer all over it.” To which someone else responded, “You mean Pu-litzer?” Someone else wrote, “You OK, WIRED? Congratulations, you’ve reached a new low.” And my favorite, “These comments are nuts.” The comments are indeed nuts because we are talking about Zak’s nuts. Please don’t fire me, Condé Nast HR. We’re talking about Zak’s nether regions, and I want to hear all about this dive down the rabbit hole to find the perfect ball spray.

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